Listening and Talking
Faith and Family
Keep Listening and Talking – taken from the book “Simple Secrets Couples Should Know” by Bob and Emilie Barnes
“Dear brothers, don’t ever forget that it is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry.”
There are 3 partners in a Christian marriage – husband, wife, and Jesus Christ. For healthy communication to exist, there must be communication between all 3 partners. If there is a breakdown in dialog between any 2 members, the breakdown will automatically affect the third member of the partnership. Dwight Small says, “Lines open to God invariable open to one another, for a person cannot be genuinely open to God and closed to his mate… God fulfills His design for Christian marriage when lines of communication are first open to Him.” If you and your mate are having difficulty communicating, the first are to check is your individual devotional life with God.
The Barnes’ state that whenever they suffer a breakdown in relating with each other, it is because one of them has failed to talk with God on a regular basis. When both are communicating with God regularly, they generally enjoy excellent communication with each other. They show the diagram of a triangle with God at the top and each mate at the other corners. As the diagram suggests, the closer they both are to God, the closer they are together. The inverse is also true – the farther we move away from God by not communicating with Him, the farther apart we will be from our mates.
My next blog I will outline suggestions on how to communicate better.
Suggestions for Romance
*Take complete charge of the children for an AM or PM and tell your mate to do what they would like.
*Learn to delegate at work more, so you can come home at a good hour to be with your mate and family.
*Both husband and wife try being totally positive, accepting, supportive, and nonjudgmental for one entire week. no complaining, nagging, or preaching.
*Take a risk–be romantic.
*Rent a convertible on a sunny day and cruise around just the two of you.
*Serve your spouse breakfast on Saturday morning.
*While on the road, send your spouse a postcard every day you’re away.
*Write your spouse a love letter and mail it to your home.
*Record your favorite love songs from the time you were dating and play them in the car as you travel.
My Bible study class this week – still doing “Experiencing God” by Blackaby My memory verse for the week (and I usually learn during my exercise time):
Hebrews 11:6, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
and next week is:
“Any of you who does not give up everything cannot be my disciple.”
Mr. Blackaby writes that adjusting your life to God is the second critical turning point in your knowing and doing the will of God. The first turning point was the crises of belief: you must believe that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do. Without faith in God, you will make the wrong decision at this first turning point. Adjusting your life to what God wants to do through you is another turning point. If you choose to make the adjustment, you can move on to obedience. If you refuse to make the adjustment, you will miss what God has in store for you. The Spirit’s job is to guide you according to the Father’s will. Then He enables you to do God’s will. Mr. Blackaby notes three statements about adjustments and obedience:
1. I cannot stay where I am and go with God at the same time.
2. Obedience is costly to me and those around me (and I can trust God to care for me and my family).
3. Obedience requires total dependence on God to work through me.
A method is never the key to accomplishing God’s work. The key is our relationship with a Person – God wants you to know Him, not a method or formula. If we follow someone else’s plan, use a method, or emphasize a program, we tend to forget about our dependence on God. We leave the relationship with God and go after a method or program, which Mr. Blackaby calls spiritual adultery. He notes that only God has the right to tell you what to do. Wait before God until He tells you what His will and plans are for you, and then trust Him to enable you. We need to die harder to self and not try harder, and lean into the Holy Spirit’s guidance and power.
With hugs and all my praise to our Lord for his word, sacrifice, and guidance and inspiration!